Nothing like waiting till the last minute. I had a fairly long entry planned for tonight, but have to retire early. I'll be up before the rooster for a 6:30am shift in the morning, and if I don't get at least 6 hours of sleep, I'm kind of cranky. So, I'm just going to wing it.
I had a discussion yesterday, that left me feeling a bit unsettled. This person I know is going through some tough medical issues. Facing possible dangerous surgery, but a good future if the treatments and surgery are successful. Has a friend that wants to develop a more serious romantic relationship. Is wanting to push this friend away, to avoid the friend from being hurt, should things take a turn for the worst. Asked my opinion. Wants my advice.
Wow, how do you respond to that? I know that the friend is well aware of all the medical issues, all the factors, the dangers of the surgery, possible disabilities. And wants to pursue a relationship anyway. I also know that the friend is a strong, logical, compassionate person.
Truthfully, this medical situation will, most likely, have a very positive outcome. I can understand wanting to spare someone from the pain and heartache of finding love and losing it too soon. But is it right to make that kind of decision for someone else? Is it selfish? Noble?
When I married my husband, I knew that he had Multiple Sclerosis. I did my homework, learned all I could about the disease, what the worst case scenario could be. I made the decision to commit to a very uncertain future. For love. I think that's why my opinion was requested.
The only advice I gave was to give it some more consideration. To talk openly and honestly about all the fears and doubts, before making any final decisions. Why do you want to go through this alone? Would having a relationship make a difference in your ability to continue to fight for life? If you reject this possible love, and things turn out for the best, what then? It'll be too late for this relationship.
It stirred up some painful memories and regrets for me. Brought some of my demons back to the forefront. I'll be doing battle with them again.
It's bedtime. Oh, and by the way, the ice cream is awesome-I love brown sugar.
~Namaste~
I'm able to understand how your friend feels on some level - I have my days of not wanting to weigh anyone down. At the same time I know I would of found it difficult...actually impossible to get through so events in my life without the love I have now.
ReplyDeleteI hope your friend reconsiders and let's someone love them as they are.(Hugs) Indigo
I can see both points in this. But the other person is an adult and is capable of deciding for theirselves what to do. Communication is key!!
ReplyDelete